addiction

The Beauty of Hitting Bottom

Posted by Steve Roberts on
 March 21, 2021
  ·  3 Comments

As a recovering alcoholic of 32 years, I’m always delighted to run across a fresh insight about addiction, such as the following from David Milch, fabulous writer of one of my favorite westerns, the HBO series “Deadwood,” set in raw, lawless South Dakota circa 1870, where you can hear the word “cocksucker” more times than you ever thought possible while marveling at the Shakespearean beauty of the exposition it embellishes and the characters who speak it.  Anyway, Mr. Milch’s ability to turn a phrase relating to addiction is equally memorable, if short on profanity:

Evidence that you’re close to hitting bottom:

Your circumstances are deteriorating faster

than you can lower your standards.

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Covid Fear & Love

Posted by Steve Roberts on
 October 11, 2020
  ·  3 Comments

Trump says don’t be afraid of Covid.  Even the pope says that’s crazy from a man whose disrespect for the virus has caused tremendous harm to the human family.  Thing is, Trump’s got a point.  Though his meaning of don’t be afraid is on another planet from my own. 

There are endless reasons to be mindful of Covid, respectful of Covid, aware of the potential harm of Covid.  And all that is possible without being brutalized by the fear of it.  The contamination spreads not from a lack of fear, but from a lack of attention, a lack of honest engagement, a lack of common sense you might say.  

Of course this isn’t Trump’s meaning at all. Read More

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A Dozen Things No Election Will Change

Posted by Steve Roberts on
 November 11, 2018
  ·  4 Comments

  1. If our candidate needed to win in order for us to be happy, we signed up for the ultimate in misery––attaching our happiness to something we cannot control.
  2. If our candidate did win and we think that’s the reason we’re happy, we’re mistaken.  Same if we think our crankiness is due to our person’s loss.  Don’t be concerned.  It takes most of us lifetimes to realize how impossible either scenario is. 
  3. The most important thing to know about Trump is that he is not responsible for our feelings about him––whatever those feelings are.  
  4. The same can be said about everyone else we’ve ever known.
  5. How we define our world creates our world.  This principle is the root of our every judgment, our every opinion, our every resentment, our every joy.  
  6. The human family’s addiction to drugs is nowhere near as harmful as our addiction to beliefs.  And maybe our most malicious belief is that people and events cause how we feel, and thus how we respond.  
  7. Saying “This makes me angry,” is another thing we do a million times until we realize that it’s impossible, and that we’re just trying to avoid taking responsibility for our fear and pain.  
  8. Many things are harmful and call to be changed.  But only we make them a burden.  
  9. And when we do, we deny ourselves the gift inherent in every experience: the opportunity to grow our ability to respond with kindness and wisdom to whatever comes our way.
  10. With enthusiasm, even ferocity, we can fight for or against whatever our heart impels us to address without resentment, condescension, or hatred.  Dr. King said one Christmas, “If we don’t have goodwill toward men in this world, we will destroy ourselves.” 
  11. In fact, we needn’t fight “against” anything, but instead align our heart and mind with honoring and creating that which we hold sacred.
  12. To cultivate lasting happiness, even in the face of perpetual heartbreak, a useful mantra is the question: What am I trying to accomplish that I can control?  Discovering and acting on our answers is pretty much all there is to a healthy life: one that doesn’t attach itself to the outcome of an election or any other endeavor, but rather focuses solely on the energy and integrity we invest in a noble aspiration, one that serves the entire human family.  Having a peaceful heart, for instance.
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Life on the Leading Edge of Evolution

Posted by Steve Roberts on
 July 7, 2018
  ·  No Comments

Addiction––specifically addiction to beliefs––may be the primary impediment to human evolution.  Or, turning it around, the obstacle that yields the greatest rewards.  At issue: how we define reality and how ferociously we hold on to that definition.  There’s reason to smile. Read More

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Our Friend Indignation

Posted by Steve Roberts on
 October 8, 2017
  ·  1 Comment

Indignation is our friend, if we’re keen on bringing our best self to the party.

By indignation I mean “self-righteous condemnation fueled by anger.”

Something is wrong, and we’re pissed about it.  From a fly in our soup, to the actions of others so brutal you wonder whether humankind deserves to survive.

My behavior too often suggests that I believe that indignation is necessary to convey my passionate resistance to what I find abhorrent, or undesirable, and sometimes just contrary to my whim.

I know better.  I’m right there with those who say the purpose of life is to be happy and reduce the suffering of others.  I know in spades that indignation is a distraction to that end.  I know, I feel, I experience that it robs me of my peace of mind, abuses my body, and can lead me to spit nastiness at others.  I’m a devotee of spiritual practices that help tremendously to calm my mind.  And while I’m not nearly the walking hand-grenade I have been, there are moments I’ll find myself pounding the steering wheel while silently yelling at the cretin who, years ago, did that thoughtless thing I can’t quite remember but have yet to forgive.  If I catch my face in the rearview mirror, I see just about the ugliest person on earth, which shuts me up quick. Read More

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One Mans Dance logo with the M as legs with shoes

"The push to change the words “nigger” and “injun” in Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, because the so-called offensive nature of those terms might limit today’s readership and appreciation of that literary classic, is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on how we avoid taking responsibility for our feelings––and therefore miss the chance to become more awake, more whole, more useful friends to one another."

The Essay: The Gold in Niggers and Injuns