Here Or Not At All

There’s a powerful lesson in the story of Nobel Prize winner, James Watson, and his opinion that black people are intrinsically less intelligent than whites.  As harmful as Dr. Watson’s views on race may be, more harmful is the anger directed at him for holding those views.  

In 1962, Dr. Watson shared the Nobel Prize for describing the double-helix structure of DNA, making him a founder of modern genetics.  Forty-five years later, in 2007, he told a British journalist that he was “inherently gloomy about the prospect of Africa,” because, “all our social policies are based on the fact that their intelligence is the same as ours, whereas all the testing says, not really.”

Watson recently affirmed his provocative contention in a documentary portrait of him aired on PBS.  A New York Times article about the program included this statement: “…and scientists routinely excoriate Dr. Watson when his name surfaces on social media.”  

That’s a loaded verb, excoriate.  It means “to censure scathingly.”  Synonyms include: abuse, assail, bash, blast, attack, and savage.   Read More

A Dozen Things No Election Will Change

  1. If our candidate needed to win in order for us to be happy, we signed up for the ultimate in misery––attaching our happiness to something we cannot control.
  2. If our candidate did win and we think that’s the reason we’re happy, we’re mistaken.  Same if we think our crankiness is due to our person’s loss.  Don’t be concerned.  It takes most of us lifetimes to realize how impossible either scenario is. 
  3. The most important thing to know about Trump is that he is not responsible for our feelings about him––whatever those feelings are.  
  4. The same can be said about everyone else we’ve ever known.
  5. How we define our world creates our world.  This principle is the root of our every judgment, our every opinion, our every resentment, our every joy.  
  6. The human family’s addiction to drugs is nowhere near as harmful as our addiction to beliefs.  And maybe our most malicious belief is that people and events cause how we feel, and thus how we respond.  
  7. Saying “This makes me angry,” is another thing we do a million times until we realize that it’s impossible, and that we’re just trying to avoid taking responsibility for our fear and pain.  
  8. Many things are harmful and call to be changed.  But only we make them a burden.  
  9. And when we do, we deny ourselves the gift inherent in every experience: the opportunity to grow our ability to respond with kindness and wisdom to whatever comes our way.
  10. With enthusiasm, even ferocity, we can fight for or against whatever our heart impels us to address without resentment, condescension, or hatred.  Dr. King said one Christmas, “If we don’t have goodwill toward men in this world, we will destroy ourselves.” 
  11. In fact, we needn’t fight “against” anything, but instead align our heart and mind with honoring and creating that which we hold sacred.
  12. To cultivate lasting happiness, even in the face of perpetual heartbreak, a useful mantra is the question: What am I trying to accomplish that I can control?  Discovering and acting on our answers is pretty much all there is to a healthy life: one that doesn’t attach itself to the outcome of an election or any other endeavor, but rather focuses solely on the energy and integrity we invest in a noble aspiration, one that serves the entire human family.  Having a peaceful heart, for instance.

Integrity Seeking Light

One way to get a glimpse of a person’s inner geography is to ask them to explain how a given action they have taken represents their definition of integrity. 

Further, how it reflects values indispensable to the health of the human family.  

And (especially if the person is a public figure), how they would present their position in an interactive setting with all the planet’s youth who hunger for strong examples of people worth emulating and principles worth embracing.

Obviously this isn’t the kind of request most of us this side of Mr. Rogers can respond to right off the cuff, so giving a person time for reflection is an important, and respectful, part of the exercise.  It also makes their answers much more telling.

However they respond, we learn something vital about them.  

This is the kind of inquiry that’s missing in the Brett Kavanaugh spectacle.

There’s much to learn from the drama surrounding the Supreme Court nomination of Mr. Kavanaugh, not least of all that his youthful behavior isn’t first on the list.  Yes, the details of Mr. Kavanaugh’s life are important; it’s just that they are less important than the process of discovering and evaluating them.  Establishing that process might be thought of as integrity seeking light.

Every choice we so-called adults make is an implicit statement of what constitutes integrity as we define it––our sense of what is sacred, what is essential, the values and practices we aspire to have guide our actions.  

The audience for this statement includes everyone we serve in some way––ourselves for sure, but also our loved ones, colleagues, acquaintances, and, should we be a public figure such as a Supreme Court nominee or a member of Congress or, golly, even the president of the United States, our constituency can include the world at large.  

Imagine if the confirmation process required Mr. Kavanaugh to make a presentation in any format or length he chose that conveyed the life experiences that have been most meaningful to him, what he has learned from them that he feels shapes his sense of self today, and how that shaping has taken place.  It would be great if the audience were nationwide and he was obliged to respond to follow-up questions.

A mature person, in my view, is one with a healthy capacity for reflection, for learning from his or her experiences, and for growing his or her understanding for what is essential to respond to any situation in a positive way––a way that serves the needs of the moment and, by example, the whole of humankind.  

In this spirit, imagine if all those responsible for filling this Supreme Court seat, including Mr. Kavanaugh himself, were given the opportunity to define as throughly as they could how a nominee’s fitness to be a Supreme Court Justice can be addressed in a manner that offers the world, for generations to come, an example of exceptional integrity.

That such a possibility can seem ludicrous suggests what a good reminder the Kavanaugh confirmation circus is.  Specifically, how much love, courage and persistence is required for any of us to establish a strong sense of integrity––and act on it. 

Living in Color

 

Whenever I put myself in the place of those men and women of color whose lives are disrupted harshly for no reason other than the unmanaged fear of a white person––I can fantasize doing something pretty ugly.  

But of course I’m a spiritual guy.  So I take two or three years and calm down.  That’s what it feels like anyway.  And along the way I ask myself: How would I want to respond if that happened to me?

The first time I asked that I got slapped.  Hit by my own presumption.  Put myself in the position of a person of color?  I have no more ability to do that than I do of being a woman.  Or anyone else who must live in a culture where intrenched beliefs compound, often dangerously, the challenges of living that are common to us all.

News stories abound.  Waiting for a friend in a Philly Starbucks; taking a Colorado State college tour; napping in a Yale common room; being an Airbnb guest in California.  Much less driving while black, or doing pretty much anything while a color other than white.  What’s the equivalent for an elder paleface, a Mr. Rogers wannabe?  There isn’t any, at least none that’s happened to me. Read More

What Makes Us Angry?

 

My friend is invariably offended by those who salt their language with profanity.  I’m hoping he’ll get so wigged out by it that his heart explodes and he drops dead.  Don’t worry, I’m not being cruel, I know what will happen next.  It happened to me. Read More

"I honor that we are killing the earth for the same reason I consider being an alcoholic a privilege: it is a doorway to the profound self-understanding required to make truly healthy choices."

The Essay: Honoring the Killing of the Earth